Okay. So.
I got the results, and my diagnosis...
Friday, September 13, 2013
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Okay, maybe I have died...
Okay, so.. uh.. that didn't work out well..
Like.. so not well I think I may have conditions beyond my Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Something is holding me back; something I can't control, ignore, or fight.
Appointment in 12 days. That's when I'll have testing.
Can't really afford the $700 bill, but I guess I'll just have to take it and pay it off as well as I can over time.
.. well, the doctor from the beginning thought there was more at work than the anxiety. I just never went because I couldn't afford it. Now I am going because it's not a matter of can/can't afford; I can't live my life without some kind of help.
.. and treatment I pay for is the only help I could possibly get.
So I've basically been spending my time impatiently waiting for the testing, cursing the fact that I don't have a bunch of liquor and spend a lot of the time waiting, unable to get work done, unable to enjoy anything, wishing I could be drunk out of my mind. Because then I could at least enjoy a few days between now and the testing.
So.. I feel horrible, and discouraged. Not gonna give up, though; I never truly give up.. just.. it's time to admit pushing through and trying to continue just doesn't work with me.
At least I know my doctor does psychological treatment right: the pills are just a patch, they fight the symptoms so that if it's debilitating you can at least live your life. A psychologist is the one you go to to try to fix things long-term.
Jeez.. 12 days left.. well, 11 in a couple more hours.
Like.. so not well I think I may have conditions beyond my Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Something is holding me back; something I can't control, ignore, or fight.
Appointment in 12 days. That's when I'll have testing.
Can't really afford the $700 bill, but I guess I'll just have to take it and pay it off as well as I can over time.
.. well, the doctor from the beginning thought there was more at work than the anxiety. I just never went because I couldn't afford it. Now I am going because it's not a matter of can/can't afford; I can't live my life without some kind of help.
.. and treatment I pay for is the only help I could possibly get.
So I've basically been spending my time impatiently waiting for the testing, cursing the fact that I don't have a bunch of liquor and spend a lot of the time waiting, unable to get work done, unable to enjoy anything, wishing I could be drunk out of my mind. Because then I could at least enjoy a few days between now and the testing.
So.. I feel horrible, and discouraged. Not gonna give up, though; I never truly give up.. just.. it's time to admit pushing through and trying to continue just doesn't work with me.
At least I know my doctor does psychological treatment right: the pills are just a patch, they fight the symptoms so that if it's debilitating you can at least live your life. A psychologist is the one you go to to try to fix things long-term.
Jeez.. 12 days left.. well, 11 in a couple more hours.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
I'm not dead yet.
Equestria Weekly is well and truly gone.
Who knows if I'll pick it up again.
I'm just not a good speaker, and don't have the most interesting things to say.
With a heavy heart I put away the lighting and equipment, which felt like I was finalizing that I couldn't do the show.
Also, the camera is broken. I also would not try it again unless I had a proper camera.. and spending $1k+ on a professional camcorder anytime soon is not going to happen.
So I am moving to indie game development, which has been making progress, but has been slow.
At least the progress has been okay: I found out the book I was using was crap, but learned enough about the Pygame package that I can continue; next I'll be finding a hands-on beginners game before moving to my first game.
The first game, predictably, will be some simple pixel-based pony game. Just a little something for practice.
Maybe in a couple months I'll actually have something worth looking at here, and an actual reason for people to donate!
Who knows if I'll pick it up again.
I'm just not a good speaker, and don't have the most interesting things to say.
With a heavy heart I put away the lighting and equipment, which felt like I was finalizing that I couldn't do the show.
Also, the camera is broken. I also would not try it again unless I had a proper camera.. and spending $1k+ on a professional camcorder anytime soon is not going to happen.
So I am moving to indie game development, which has been making progress, but has been slow.
At least the progress has been okay: I found out the book I was using was crap, but learned enough about the Pygame package that I can continue; next I'll be finding a hands-on beginners game before moving to my first game.
The first game, predictably, will be some simple pixel-based pony game. Just a little something for practice.
Maybe in a couple months I'll actually have something worth looking at here, and an actual reason for people to donate!
Friday, December 7, 2012
Alrighty then..
I have gone and removed Equestria Weekly from view.
When I can afford the space and time to produce it (who knows, might be years) I'll start again proper.
For now, if I feel motivated enough to prepare another episode (still want to do a Purpletinker episode) I'll release it here.
The shift in gears is in the interest of doing something I can actually do out of my home.. details after the break.
When I can afford the space and time to produce it (who knows, might be years) I'll start again proper.
For now, if I feel motivated enough to prepare another episode (still want to do a Purpletinker episode) I'll release it here.
The shift in gears is in the interest of doing something I can actually do out of my home.. details after the break.
Sunday, November 18, 2012
The haps
Okay. Deciding my projects a bit more.
I will keep trying to do the web show, though it is still on a bit of a hiatus because I plan on dumping all unreleased content and generating new scripts/footage from the top.. I also can't do any work this week.
I am still planning a comic series, and it may be awhile before I actually do that particular idea.
At the moment, it is looking like I will more seriously try to produce an indie game for kicks. A bit more on that after the break.
I will keep trying to do the web show, though it is still on a bit of a hiatus because I plan on dumping all unreleased content and generating new scripts/footage from the top.. I also can't do any work this week.
I am still planning a comic series, and it may be awhile before I actually do that particular idea.
At the moment, it is looking like I will more seriously try to produce an indie game for kicks. A bit more on that after the break.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Another day.
The new episode was shorter than expected...
It was kinda rife with problems.. I changed it right before filming due to new comments to add, in the middle of filming when I decided to make these large changes, and then wound up cutting half the material while editing because I found a chance to improve a big segment I felt was a bit weak.
It was kinda rife with problems.. I changed it right before filming due to new comments to add, in the middle of filming when I decided to make these large changes, and then wound up cutting half the material while editing because I found a chance to improve a big segment I felt was a bit weak.
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